


Save A Horse, Ride A Rohirrim

by callmearenegade



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Christmas Presents, F/M, Modern Middle Earth, Polo Player AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7578154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmearenegade/pseuds/callmearenegade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on: Eomer wearing a shirt that says “Save a Horse, Ride a Rohirrim.” on ImagineXHobbit</p><p>Eomer's Girlfriend picks gag gifts for christmas, Eomer is impressed. The start to my Modern Polo Player AU I haven't really explored much ( tell me if you want more)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save A Horse, Ride A Rohirrim

The cold air wrapped around the house as she wrapped herself deeper into the blanket cocoon she rested in. Resting in the earlier hours of the morning, she tried to fight the nagging feeling of consciousness that was fighting hard to wake her. The grueling and constant routine of early awakenings seemed to have imprinted in her brain. Despite her constant stating that it was the one day a year she could sleep in her brain refused to stop the constant stabbing of consciousness. This was the life she had chosen though. It was not a surprise routine; it was the one she had knowingly decided upon. Her mind finally calmed and it seemed the insistent prodding toward the unwanted state of consciousness had finally subsided. With an internal sigh she heavily rested into the soft comfort of the mattress. She could fall back into the warm embrace of sleep and push the start of the day farther away. The heaviness of her body and slow flogging of her brain was welcome as her mind and body tingled into the whirling vortex of slumber. Her mind rested again and the beginnings of a dream began to dance along her brain and behind her eyes when another heavy weight fell upon her legs.

She jumped up. Her mind was fully awake in an instant. The surprise and shock sent her heart hammering. Her mind swirled in a dizzy and head pounding whirl that resembled a toilet bowl, the peaceful slumber she was so close to embracing following the spiral until it went down the drain and away from her grasp. She groaned as it left her and her eyes adjusted to rough awakening. Eyes blurred and ached dully as they fought to adjust. She could feel the persistent and solid weight of a full grown and well muscled man rest on her legs. The folded limbs protested and shifted slightly. Her eyes focused to find the man’s torso sprawled across the patterned grey quilts that covered her legs. The wide tan shoulders and the tangled mess of blonde waves contrasted with the dull color of the room and added a warmth a delight to the monotonous room. It all clarified her suspicion as to what had woken her, or who to be more exact.

“ Eomer!” She reprimanded with a whine. The blonde waves whipped back with a snap of his neck in a way that would cause rockstars to envy. Upon the face with dancing blue eyes a wide smile appeared. She held strong to her annoyance, despite the smile that made her warm inside and made her heart grow almost 3 sizes.

“ Come now, Dear. It is Christmas!” The man grabbed her bent knee with a large hand with a surprisingly soft grip and shook it excitedly. The blankets and sheets bunched and slide away from her body with the slight motion, almost as if encouraging her to leave it’s warm embrace and to go with the man. Eomer tapped the blankets with soft but excited taps before pushing off the mattress with a quiet hiss. The woman below let out a breath and stretched her legs as he pushed his body weight off her and stood upon the carpeted floor.

“ That may be so, but it’s also the one day a year we get to sleep in. The horses get the day off. Theoden isn’t expecting us till early afternoon. All the shops are closed so we don’t have to go do supply runs for everyone.” She whined once more. Eomer’s pleaded with her through his blue eyes with a childlike gleam that no man of his age should be able to conjure. She rolled away to face away from the man. Her resolve to be grumpy and lethargic was wearing thin. His blue eyes and whimsical spirit was wearing away and chasing the cold out of her heart. Oh, how she wanted to sleep. But oh, how adorable and lovely this man was.

“ But there are presents!” He tried once more. His forehead moving to give a gentle nudge to her shoulder. A loud groan was her only response. Eomer decided then that he could not use his regular excited technique to get his sleep-deprived and grouchy girlfriend out of bed this morning. She loved the bed almost as much as she loved him, it appeared this morning. He felt she would choose it over him if he was too persistent. He would have to be wiser and more persuasive.

The tall man laid down on the thin edge of the bed behind her and wrapped a long arm around her waist. She leaned back into the soft kissed placed upon the back of her neck. Long, thin, and red tipped fingers traced the back of the larger hand that draped and rested so perfectly in the dip of her waist. She traced softly over the ridges of the joints and the veins. The blonde smile warmly and nuzzled into the back of her neck once more. She slipped her fingers between the calloused and vaguely crooked fingers of the hand draped across her waist and held steadfastly .

“ What if I made you some hot chocolate and we could open stockings and eat all the candy in it for breakfast like children?” He whispered in her ear before pressing a kiss to the spot behind it.

“ I don’t think there is anything in my stocking worth getting out of bed for.”

She groaned but smiled all the same. He could feel the last of her resolve melting away like the snow when spring rolled in. He was the spring to her winter. When the time came, she was the Spring to the harsh cold of his Winter. Truly the Persephone of his world; The cold of the winter but the light and resilience of spring.

“ You sure about that? How do you know if you don’t go down and check?” He could see her breaking and smiled wide. She smiled and pushed the blankets off her body.

Eomer smiled and jumped out of the bed. The girl protested as her cold feet hit the cold floor and the cool air of the house wrapped around her bare legs. She didn’t think of the cold the night before when the overly warm body of the god-like man was pressed against her. Now, however, she was shivering. She wrapped the top quilt around her and took the big step to get out of bed. Eomer was out the door before she was fully out of bed, apparently confident in her actually getting out of bed, confident that his insistent probing had finally done it’s job and gotten her out of the warm depths she was already missing.

The long journey down and hall and the cold wooden staircase was being made when the loud pop and echoing whoosh of the heater turning on and warming the house echoed around the walls. Smiling, she continued down the staircase to the bottom where the large pine tree rested. The smell of pine and vanilla wrapped around the room. The invigorating smell intensified the christmas excitement in the tired woman. She could feel the whirl of joy wrapping and bubbling in her chest . It was the joy of the child who couldn’t sleep the night before, the excitement of the day to come. She felt like the child she had been in her earlier years that watched every christmas special every night starting in October. She hadn’t realized how dormant it had sat. Yes, she had gotten wrapped up in her life in the recent years but she didn’t realize how far into her dark cave of serious routine.

It was only a handful of years ago that she had stated to become more serious in her life than she should have been. She was only nineteen,out of money and time. It had been a year since she had run off from home with little more than a note and a broken promise of “ I’ll see you tomorrow morning”. She had run as far away from the hell she had wasted 18 years in, geographically making it but no matter hard she tried, she couldn’t get away from the equestrian world that had held her captive all her life. So she worked the odd jobs she could find, but none paid well enough. 19; she was only a few days from a phone call home, a university degree, and job in something she didn’t care about.It was then when the Rohirrim had called her and offered her a full time job as a groom. That was where, looking back, she could see where she became serious. The polo team were so fierce, they were named after an ancient race of legendary warriors. 5 years later, she was still there, though she was more than just a groom now, she was part of the family. Theoden had all but adopted her a few months after she had joined on. The patriarch ruled over the team like a king, taught and disciplined like the father he was, but loved all he coached like they were his own. His whole family seemed to welcome her. Eomer had stolen a piece of her heart shortly after she had arrived, his infectious laugh pulling a smile from her despite the apathetic facade she had long before learned to display in order to protect herself. It was the tone of his voice, the genuine sincerity that seemed to pull her back to caring. He had taught her once again that she did not need to harden her heart to survive in such a world. Thus far, 5 years later, he has not given her a reason to doubt that, perhaps in some weird kindness displayed by the universe, she can live in the world she had loved for so long. Despite it all, the constant bustling of activity had turned her into a bit of a stickler who loved her sleep a bit too much. Running around constantly from dusk till dawn, driving or flying from competition to competition, tended to make one a little bit dull and tired.

“ If you keep staring at those fairy lights, your brain is going to turn to mush.” Eomer whispered as he wrapped one arm around her waist and held out a dangerously frothy mug of hot chocolate in the other. Leaning back into the warm and sturdy body of the man behind her, she took the cup in one hand and focused on the twinkling lights that wrapped around the tree and lit the house with a heavenly glow.

“ Can’t be any worse than that time I went to that rave with Theodred.” She whispered into the cup with a joyful tone. The hot chocolate coated her mouth and spread warmth through her chest.

“ You mean that time you and Theodred got drunk before the biggest competition of the year and showed up twenty minutes late to the competition the next morning?” Eomer accused before he playfully bit at the long neck of the woman before him. She squealed and jumped away from the tickling sensation causing a puddle of hot chocolate to appear on the floor below them.

“ Theodred got drunk, I just had a headache. More so when I got to the stable to feed that morning and Firefoot and Snowmane where having an alpha male problem and fighting each other through the stall. “ she defended back with a pointed finger as she moved away from the tree.

Eomer only rolled his eyes before moving to the wall next to the tree to pull the two overly stuffed striped stockings off.

“ Are you awake enough now to start opening things?” He inquired as he held the stockings up. She put the old mug down upon the side table and sat on the floor.

“ I suppose.” She huffed but reached for her stocking nonetheless.

Eomer’s feet padded upon the hardwood floor as he crossed it with a smile. He handed the candy cane striped stocking with the intricate red “B” sown upon it to her before sitting down across from her with his with the golden “E” upon it.

Hanging out of the top of the bags were assorted candy wrappers. Pulling one out and opening the paper, she spotted the red wrapping paper with the yellow bananas with santa hats and beards painted upon it. She smiled wide as she looked at it mischievously.

“ You have to open it first, babe.” She reached and held the thin and squishy rectangle-like package out in front of him. All the while her face wrapped in a knowing smirk and it sent a wave of excitement and dread through the man.

“ It is the tradition. To open the gag gift first.” He smiled and grabbed the package from her hand.   
  
The gag gift tradition had started a few years prior by Theodred. It became a regular part of the secret santa draw. Theodred, after being responsible for terrible - as his father called it- tradition was responsible for pulling the name of the lucky soul who would be the one supplying the gag gift for the year. Despite the goof ball he was, he was good at keeping the secret. After the years had passed with numerous gifts one could not open in front of their mothers - my personal favorite being the year everyone got a bag of gummy dicks- Eomer could only wait to see what he was getting this year. He was a big guy, he was a grown up, he had a good sense of humor and none of the gifts had yet to make him too uncomfortable. He had eaten his bag gummy dicks - and Eowyn’s - on the couch during the annual “A Christmas Story” marathon at his uncle’s house the year before. Nothing fazed the man. He was more than likely to laugh anything off but something in the waiting smile on his girlfriend’s lips left him feeling skittish. Eomer knew from the smile that she had either been chosen for it, or she knew something she shouldn’t have. He felt sweaty palmed and unprepared for what was under the paper, the same stupid paper that Theodred had started using the first year that somehow managed to circle around every year. He wondered if that was how the person got notified that they were the “gagger” as they all lovingly called it, they would just wake up on black friday with the wrapping paper on their doorstep.

Of course, she knew what was under the paper. She had been the one who ordered the damn things. 20 of them to be exact. One for each of the lovely people in her group, only 2 were slightly different but that was to be revealed for later. She had woken up the friday after Thanksgiving to find the roll of the terrible banana wrapping paper taped to the driver’s door of her truck with a note that said “ hopefully this isn’t too much to swallow ;)” written in Theodred’s dark script. She smiled at the pun before ripping the tape off and shoving the paper in the garage before Eomer could see it and ruin the surprise. The idea had taken a few days to come to her, and luckily she had time to get the stupid gifts ready, shipped out, and wrapped. No two were 100% the same and to be honest, she really only cared about Eomer getting this gift. The other’s receiving the same gift was only the result of laziness and lack of creativity but considering she was the one who ordered all the stuff the horses needed, she thought she could get away with being lazy on picking these gifts. They can complain all they want about the gag gift, but they will suck it up when they see the brand new polo wraps waiting for them under the tree at Theoden’s.

“ I am assuming you picked them.” Eomer murmured as he carefully took the paper off the squishy object inside. “Why is it squishy?” he kept thinking to himself.

“Perhaps. Stop looking so frightened!” She laughed at the look on Eomer’s face. Blue eyes looked at the object like it was going to jump up at him, hands tried to avoid touching the object within.

“ I know how you are.” He accused with a filthy smirk . No man should be able to go from looking like a terrified child to a sex god ready to ravage so fast.

“ Then, you will be pleasantly surprised how tasteful they are.” She assured with a sultry tone.

“ No glow in the dark condoms?” He was unsure as he pulled the last bit of tape off the paper. With one more pull his present will be revealed. He wasn’t sure he was ready.  
Her mouth widened and jaw dropped open as her eyes lit up with surprise.

“ That would have been a good idea! I could have done that for some of you guys!” She shouted as she covered her face with her hands and groaned at herself for not thinking of the idea. Eomer was almost more scared. That was tame and he knew how wrong she could get, Oh he knew .

“ For God’s sake, Eomer!” She chided as the grown, 6 foot 3 man looked at paper in utter terror. “ You would take on Facu and Dolfi by yourself and you are afraid of a little gag gift?” She looked upon him with a strange look of disappointment and amusement many would not think possible.

Eomer huffed. Taking a settling breath, he pulled the paper off the gift to reveal cobalt blue material. Blue material? what? The soft cotton felt weird on his fingers as he looked up at the woman before him with a look of mild confusion. She only raised a dark eyebrow and pointed at the fabric in his hand. He unrolled the fabric, the white font of the silk screened letters stood out at him in contrast to the fabric. He narrowed his eyes and focused on the words only to smile when the words made sense in his mind. He turned it around to show the smiling woman in front of his the words. A smirk crossed her pink lips as her eyes narrowed.

“ Put it on, I want to make sure it fits on those linebacker shoulders of yours.” She whispered, voice smokey like a fireplace.

Eomer gave her a knowing look before he pulled the black elastic band from his wrist and tied his long locks up into a bun on the top of his head. She watched as the muscles of his bare chest and arms moved under the tan skin with every move and licked her lips as she appreciated the omnipotent man before her. Once his hair was out of the way he pulled the fabric over his expansive shoulder she loved so much. The shirt stretched and gave over the muscles that protruded until it wrapped around him and rested on his torso. She admired the blue she had meticulously chosen as it contrasted nicely with the tan skin and sent a shiver down her spine. She admired the way the muscles stood out it the tight fit shirt. It had not been her intention but with her man being built like a god, such things did happen and were not unwanted when they occurred.

“ So?” Eomer questioned as she stared at him with hungry eyes that scanned over every stitch of the shirt. Or perhaps, he that the shirt rested on.

“ ‘Save a horse, Ride a Rohirrim’” She read the white font on the shirt with a naughty smirk. “ Don’t mind if I do.” She reached forward and grabbed the color of the shirt and pulled herself against the warm chest of the man before her. Eomer quickly gathered her into his lap as she wrapped her arms around his neck and attacked his mouth with a hungry kiss.

**  
The house had heated up significantly, if the sweaty bodies collapsed on the wooden floor was anything to go by. Eomer rested heavily against the cool floor. His chest rose and fell in an increasingly controlled rhythm. Despite spending four days a week at the gym and riding several horses a day, he was always out of breath after a good “romp in the hay”. He looked upon the woman who was laying against his chest. Long hair waved and wrapped around his hand as he ran a soothing hand lovingly through the sex tousled hair.

“How’d you like the present?” She jested as she sat up to straddle his hips once more. This woman would be the death of him, he was sure of it. His hands gripped her hip bones softly, thumbs soothing over the light purple bruises that littered the soft skin.

“ Come on,” He tapped her thigh softly, “ We need to get the ready to head to Theodred’s for Christmas brunch.” He insisted as he looked at the clock on the mantle.

“ I have to show you my gag gift now.” She assured with a dangerous smile. Eomer propped himself onto his elbows to sit as she stood and walked to her stocking that rested on the couch. Her green eyes locked with his, like a predator to it’s prey, the whole time she pulled the present out of the stocking and ripped the paper from it. She turned her back to the blonde, with a cheeky smirk, and pulled the matching navy blue material over her bare chest and down till the long hem rested just below her butt. Eomer silently cursed the shirt before she turned around.

A loud laugh echoed, the whole house filled with the deep laugh of the man on the floor.

“ What? It’s true!” She insisted with a smirk as she walked back over to the man vibrating with laughter. She tossed the navy blue fabric of the man’s shirt at him. He grabbed the blue material and pulled it over his shoulders after locating and putting on the cotton of his briefs. He walked to stand next to the woman he loved. They made quite a pair in their shirts. “ Save a horse, ride a Rohirrim” and “ I rode a Rohirrim” printed in matching white font on matching navy blue shirts. He may have been biased, but he was positive this year had the best gag gifts ever. A perfect pair of gifts for the perfect pair. 

 

 


End file.
